Living on a roller coaster

[CallaghanClown]

Back on the roller coaster. I really thought I was detaching. I didn't feel sad packing his stuff, I didn't feel sad finding birthday and Christmas cards declaring his love for me. I didn't feel sad that he wasn't here anymore. I know he needs to go away to fix himself.

But today discovering I am right and he doesn't wear his wedding ring, when he's not here, has really upset me.

I thought I had no expectations about it. I guess I was wrong.

I'm trying to rush this process because I just don't want it. But there is no quick fix. He's been gone 1 month and this is how it's going to be forever, unless he has an awakening. I need to ask as if he's never going to have an awakening. If he suddenly wakes from the fog, hopefully he's not damaged me so much that ill never be able to accept him back into my life.

I need to remember this isn't personal. It's his journey and I need to let him travel it alone. But boy is it hard. I'm at home holding the baby, while he's off having a jolly.....time to GAL more and not worry about what he's doing.