Gabbysmom, here is the thing that is the weirdest: he had a son before! So having children is no news to him AND he says he still wants to have a girl!!! Say what?
When I talked with his ex wife, she said he would come home and hide in his office for hours, never once interacting with the child. And they divorced when SS11 was 1 years old as well. His ex wife said he also did not participate in the coparenting and I saw it first hand.
While we were dating, H would pick up his son from the airport and come straight to my house. He would leave us watching cartoons and would take a nap. Ss always said, why is my dad sleeping again?
Then when SS left (and they fought allllll the time; I felt like I was a referee) H would spend a few days crying, literally on a fetal position, because of all the guilt he felt.
I agree, ladies. It just [censored]. He is great with S1, to the point of obsession, but at the same time he wants to leave us. Sigh.
I just got a call from the hospital saying we should be there at 5:30 am. He thinks it's too early. Excuse me? It's the birth of your child. Not a plane flight.
When I had S1 I was in labor for 12 hours and didn't sleep at all that night. H slept at least five hours while my mom tended to me. They finally did a csection and I was drugged up and pretty out of it, and I slept some of that afternoon. S1 was sent to NICU for respiratory issues and I couldn't relax anymore. The phone rang in the middle of the night and I knew it was the NICU with news on the baby. I couldn't get to the phone because of the pain and asked H to get it. He yelled that he wanted to sleep because he didn't sleep well the night before!!!!
And btw, yes, I saw way more red flags I can think of before we were married and this is why I decided to go to C by myself: I need to figure out why I keep doing this: getting involved when my instincts keep telling me not to.
But after over 24 hours of labor and then a c section, my H calls me in the hospital as he was trying to pay the mortgage ( I normally took care of the bills). And due to sleep deprivation and worrying about my newborn I couldn't remember the online password. He yelled at me, my dad was there in the house with him overheard him and yelled at him.
It's called narccissm. Can't empathize with anything that doesn't directly involve him.Can't see outside of the narrow tunnel that is their world.
Not to hijack, but… Thanks for this post. I can see narccissm in myself, at least that was how I was at times… How discussing. It is so helpful to see this posted about others, so I can read it and allow myself to look as an outsider and see that that is me, it is hard to see otherwise, if that makes sense.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Gabbysmom - I must not be doing something right here. I can never send a PM.
They were disabled some time ago, before my time here. Abuse I assume... Not sure why the "button" is still there.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
