W and I have discussed what we both see in the near future. we want a minimal disruption to our two boy's lives.
W suggested a "nesting" type separation where each of us goes away for a few days at a time while the other remains with the kids, giving them a solid, comfortable and safe home.
At this point, she said she has not filed for a D and for the time being, we can see how this works out until we decide on anything long-term or permanent.
I'm open to this idea, as it does allow us time apart without paralizing both of us financailly.
I met with an attorney who advicates for men in divorce. It's essentially a fairly cut and dry scenario as we live in a no-fault state. If W and I can come to terms re: who gets what and who goes where, the court will accept our terms and sign off on it. With regard to her affair, he said that may be considered in a settlement, should it become adversarial, but only minimally. He did mention that we could subpoena the two douche bags who W had A with as a "negotiating tool".
My desire is to keep the house and have W find another place as she is the one who wants out. The attorney said because of her very poor credit history, she would be unable to refinance the house, which is in my favor.
W has also stated that she doesn't want my money (401(k), IRA, etc.)or stuff and I don't want hers either.
I guess we'll see how things go before any drastic decisons are made. So far, we have all been existing in a very amicable and friendly way.
She shares her events of the day with me, we both prepare and serve dinner to the family. We went to the cider mill for a nice Fall outing last weekend. We're all going to my sister's big Halloween party for this weekend.
I'm trying to give her space and not prying anymore, as I know that really pisses her off and is one of the reasons she stated in her letter for not wanting to be with me.
So, for now it seems ok, but I don't know when or if she'll file for D.
Vince B M=10 yrs T=13 yrs M45 / H 44 2 Boys 5 & 8 D Day: 7/16/13
