I'm glad thee benign was positive NLW. It's something for sure. Keep your DBing on as AS wisely said. Who knows where exh is right now in his head. I read something today that reminds me of so many of us here :
Release the grasp on what you think you know and slip into the ease of not knowing.
Xxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Observing what XH is doing... trying not to let it affect me too much. Posting here lets me get it out of my head.
He texted both kids on Fri to wish D17 the best for her valedictory dinner.
This was the event that he tried to bring OW to - but D17 intervened and asked the school to block him. He didn't mention the whole shemozzle to us.
Anyway, he texted her and S15 with things like: "miss you. love you. kisses and have a good time tonight."
Next morning came lots of texts asking how it all went. D17 did not reply.
Kids and I went horse riding and had a great time (although S15 has mashed his groinal region!. As a woman, I didn't think about this, and didn't have any advice to offer beforehand.)
About 8pm on Saturday night, XH rings the home phone and asks to speak to the kids (how I wish we'd been out!). He's never rung on a Saturday night before.
He wants to know about the horse riding that he was asked to come along to.
Says he's ringing to make sure that the dinner next Thursday evening is still on.
Asks about the valedictory dinner. Wants all the details of what we have been doing.
Just trying to let it roll over me and stay off the hamster wheel.
I hope that once I've got it down here, I can let it go.
Beautiful day today, gardening and parent care in front of me.
NLW, very interesting development. It is almost amusing to watch, if put aside all the feelings involved. I hope you can look at this from outside and not get emotionally involved. Time will show what all that means.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I am shocked. Having followed you for two years this behavior does not seem like you xh at all. Acting like a dAd with the kids and participating in events as a family.
Wow very crazy
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
OK, Here we go again. It's Thursday night and XH rang today to ask if the kids - and I - would go out to dinner.
He drove us to some weird out-the-way workers' pub.
He asked me what I wanted to drink (i asked for a beer - the same drink I've ordered for the last 18 years), then he asked the kids (coke and lemonade). Then he asked me again as if he'd not asked me 30 secs before.
Weird boastful stuff and lots of inconsistency all night. Massive spending (wanted to order a $45 burger for our son). Insisted on taking us to another restaurant for dessert after we'd eaten.
And, just like last week, as he was driving us home, asked if we could do it again next Thursday. This time he asked each kid to confirm, then he asked me. So no doubt that I am invited. Called me by my pet name during the evening, too.
I think this is his 'fix'. Thinks he can get by masquerading as a family for one night a week.
Awkward but trying to follow the DB philosophy of establishing a non-threatening friendship.
How strange.
As last week, I've eaten so much and drank so much I feel sick. Or maybe that's not why.
And yes, it's my belief that OW works on Thursday nights, Hence this is the only night of the week he is 'available' to see us.
S15 commented when we got home that it seems 'fake' when we go out with him and it's not very nice.
I'd have to agree. I'm trying to DB, or at least be civil, but the kids see it as us all pandering to XH's weirdness. After what he's done to us, how can we all sit there and 'be nice' as it were? Makes for an awkward time.
I'm unsure of what I should do. If this is just more of his cake-eating, then the answer is clear.
But if it's the first tentative step back towards the kids and me... who knows?
I suppose i just have to wait and see what transpires.
