I'm back -- lost of progress

[mishka422]

OMG! He really is on planet "everything is all about me".

Not that this will be of any real help, but I'll tell you a story in the hope of giving you some hope of future change.

My xh told me that my migraines (I had about 1 every 3-4 months, not every day or week) and my inability to give him my attention because I was caring for my terminally ill mother and our autistic son drove him into the arms of ow.

Now, I will admit that I didn't pay enough attention to our R because I was so preoccupied with our son and my mother. But, an understanding H would have talked to me about it instead of just running off to another woman's bed and walking out on us after I found out about it all on Christmas day. (Yeah, Christmas is now my least favorite holiday when I used to love it)

That was almost 7 years ago. He didn't tell me any of this until long after he came back. After we had been divorced a year and a half and the ow kicked him to the curb. Then, for the next couple of years, if I got sick or was in any pain he didn't hear one word about it. One night, I got super sick and couldn't hide it. I started crying because I was freaking out that this would drive him right back out the door. He asked if I was crying because I was in serious pain and I shook my head. He was confused and because I was so sick and couldn't keep the walls up I blurted out that I was crying because I was scared he would get upset with me for being sick and walk out again.

He was completely stunned. He didn't understand how I could think that so I calmly repeated his words to me about how my headaches and various other illnesses had been a major reason he left me for ow. His mouth literally dropped open. He had no recollection at all of ever saying that. He said that was totally irrational. Why would any man leave a woman because she was sick? That is some twisted thinking.

I didn't say anything. I let him take in what he was saying. He then got really upset. Not with me, but with himself because he knew that I would never have come up with that story on my own so it had to be true.

You see, they do sometimes come to their senses but it takes months, if not years, for them to realize what they have said and done while in the fog of the 'love drug' they are getting from ow.