I have a question: how do you validate when you want to ring your spouse's neck for what they are saying?????
I feel like H is from another planet, a planet where everything that is common sense, makes no sense to him.
- He thinks his PREGNANT WIFE WHO IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH is being controlling and unreasonable to ask that he cut contact with the other woman.
- when talking about our issues, he says things were horrible because:
A) I was too sick during the pregnancy of S1 and that turned him off because so and so's wife ran marathons while pregnant. Huh?
B) when S1 was born, his crying in the middle of the night left him too stressed
C) the fact that I had to exclusively pump (I extracted milk from my breasts up to 12 times a day for a year -- which is a 30 minute process, plus cleaning the bottles, plus feeding the baby -- because he didn't take the breast) made H tired of having to help in the evenings and weekends.
D) during the only vacation we took, S1 was very fussy because we skipped naps and he thought that was very stressful
E) he got annoyed when I called to see what time he'd be home from work because he felt it was controlling. Meanwhile, I couldn't start dinner until he got home so he could help with the baby, so I just didn't want to starve until then. When I decided to not call anymore and just put together some frozen food, he complained the meal was not more elaborate and home made.
F) when he befriended OW, he didn't tell me about this new friendship because he knew I'd have a problem with it, since I'm so unreasonable.
G) after cooking for an hour or so, and pumping all day and taking care of S1 all day, I liked to sit down and relax. H said that the dishes on the sink made him resent me.
H) while he was deployed and I was pregnant and very very sick, and taking care of S1 by myself, so I vented to him. He said my complaining about throwing up, feeling tired and having to chase after a toddler turned him of.
All his allegations of the problems we had make no sense. I have such a hard time validating his point of view when it is so selfish!! When I explain my side, he says I just don't listen.
