Well here I am making final preparations to go back to work after maternity leave. Its bittersweet - one part sad (I'm going to miss getting to hold my little guy all day) - one part excited to finally interact with other people on a regular basis again. Staying home for 8 weeks has been really wonderful and really really LONELY since I don't have a spouse to talk to at night. Its certainly been hard to GAL or even to talk on the phone to friends with the constant needs of a newborn and being a single parent of 3 kids.
My H drops by for a few hours about 3 times per week right now to help out. I have to give him credit for surprising me in positive ways in the past 2 months. There have been times where I've really blown it from a DB perspective (R talks, being critical, etc) and yet he's hung in there and keeps coming back when I thought he would have given up and headed for the hills.
I still don't feel like we are in a relationship, but he's doing all of the things I've asked of him such as pitching in with our S, helping me get things done here, etc. I've tested the waters with a little bit of light physical contact - like rubbing his arm or back and didn't really get a response good or bad so I'm suspending that until he moves closer. I also have to keep telling myself that while I'm frustrated he isn't here more often and isn't meeting some of my needs, he is doing many many other things that I want to see from him.
Plus, I still have a long road ahead of me in rebuilding trust in him. He wasn't cheating per say with OW but I have no idea if they still talk or get together these days and so every time he leaves early, texts, etc my mind immediately makes the assumption that he's still involved with her.
At any rate - to wrap this up, I just wanted to get out an update that things remain in limbo. He's not moving closer but he's hanging in there.
BD: Aug 2012 Separated since May 2013 S born Aug 2013 Aug 2013 H agrees to consider 'baby steps toward working things out' H is/was actively seeing someone?
