Hoping for Reconciliation after being Separated...

[chasingpavements]

Thanks Ambivalent! I have been looking for some new reading material about rebuilding a marriage. I do have the "7 Principles of Marriage" book, although I haven't finished reading it yet.

I'm also re-reading "Hold Me Tight" by Sue Johnson, which is to do with attachment theory and emotionally focused therapy. Reading "Hold Me Tight" really helped me take a close look at the destructive patterns we get into in our everyday life as well as in arguments.

My H and I have pinpointed that we generally do the "Demand/Withdrawl" or "Pursue/Distance", where I pursue and he distances. Although, lately, it has been both of us withdrawing, as I have started to withdraw. Something we both really want to work on is communication. When we had our talk that was a big issue for both of us. Basically we need to start becoming more emotionally available to each other, and opening up more.

Something we have been striving for is to regain that "connection", and how can we do that if we have not been emotionally available to each other? So long as we can keep talking to each other as friends, I think we will be on the right track. On my end I am going to try to be more approachable to him so he feels comfortable talking to me, and I will try to not be as demanding.