Sorry you are so stressed out. frown But try not to spin too much - step back, take a deep breath, put things in perspective:

- yes, the money situation with the lawyer is a drag, but you need him to protect your long-term financial interests. Don't waste time/money fighting with H over anything else, just get the financials done.

- if you really think H is sitting on considerable money you don't know about, ask your attorney about forensics. (More likely he's just running up a credit card and spending OWs money).

- Let go of what you can't control. His relationship with D will be what it will be. He's annoying but not dangerous, and you can't keep him from visitation, so just drop it off your list for now. Certainly don't spend any of your precious attorney fees on that stuff.

- Don't make excuses. Yes, you should have texted your boss while you were filling your gas tank if you knew you would be late. Your marital problems are not your boss's concern.

- be realistic about finances. Get a friend to sit down with you and brainstorm ideas. It sounds to me like, even if you get reasonable child support and some alimony, the real problem is your low income. If so, you need to be thinking about creative ways to increase your income/ lower your living expenses.

- re: Christmas - the people in your life will understand your circumstances. One year my sister was really broke, so instead of the presents she would usually exchange, she made jam for everyone. Now everybody looks forward to their jam from her every year, even though now she is financially on her feet! I think your friends and family would understand if you said you couldn't exchange gifts this year. And remember you are only responsible for half of your kids' Xmas presents. Don't go overboard in an attempt to make things up to them.