hey dwan

it was nice to be awayh= he treats me nicely- we travel well together. he said he had a nice visit just now at airport- i'm sooooo sophisticated - never manage to be ready and say 'THE RIGHTTHING> WELL, what i imagine would have been a better thing.s

he says he had a really nice time, i say" so, like, areya surprised???" because it surprioses me that he's surprised - it shouldn't - but it does . he says yeah- i call him a jackass- he is waving behind his back- wtf????

why is this dope so surprised? well, beause he tells himself alll the timee apparently what a jerk i am- then when he's here for that stupid scant week- and has a nice time he's surprised (like every time) wstf and how does one ever make a dent or change in that???

idk- but idc either (tht's i do't care. i'm working on telling myself that a million times a day- it's becoming automatic- and you know what? mostly i donj't.

supper - don't care./,,,,,mother's tantrum, don't care sister's insanity abrasiveness - idc';

h is crabbh -[ idc; he's nice as can be - idc (wel, i notice, don't put any store by it or think it "means" an;thing and so on.

i'mgonna be queen of detachment somday.

okay- gonna take a big ole hot bath- it's chilly out- windy a bit and cold in the house- and since it's soooo quiet it's like a stinking tomb - may as ell do something cozy if walkin buddy isn't home from school yet - better call.

you're sounding good and i'm glad of it. i don't have too mjuch goin n here. i need to get out the storm windows too- get doing some stuff in garden before it gets too cold - plant a fwew thigs and hope thwey donj't croak-

xxoo .