DARK - how do you do it right? I need help BADLY

[DTM]

I understand it didn't break overnight and I should expect it to take time to potentially come back...my W states very familiar lines like ILYBINILWY, I don't know how to get the love back, don't know if I want it back, you'll go back to doing what caused this, the past is what got us here...etc. It's all been said before, I read it on the forum, it's loud and clear. I also believe I understand by me focusing on me she will see there is a signficant change. I changed my job..instead of working 80+ hrs a week and travelling I call one place home and work 14 days a month.....her response to that is "our marriage was built on you not being here and now you're here all the time..I don't know what to do with you!" - crazy....so I focus on the kids and spending time with them. She says this I think because she doesn't have her safety net of friends or her business...this is a new town....at least I hope that's some of her reason. I've made plenty of efforts to do things that were fun for everyone...beach trips, annual passes to disney world, day trips, camping, etc.

I'm with you on digging deep and understanding my faults that led to her seeking something outside the marriage.....I've done plenty of self reflecting...months of it in tears. I get what I did - wasn't around, slave to my job, not enough time with my kids and family, didn't prioritize my wife's needs, didn't spend quality time. I get it, I get it...and I understand it and accept it and I'm not proud of it. However I was a provider of everything I knew how to do and I did that very well...unfortunately not in all the right places. I also will never do it again because I understand it and I know it caused my W pain...didn't know it at the time but know it now.

Her answer of being roommates does not define me but it gives me hope that she hasn't left, walked out or filed for D...but how long can that last? If we get to being best friends again (like we haven't been for years) maybe that will lead to emotional connection. I will be happy, I will do the things that make me and my children happy...I do have a life, I just want to share my life with my W and hers with me.