DARK - how do you do it right? I need help BADLY

[DTM]

I understand your points and agree with them. I am still married and no, I wouldn't find it acceptable to date anyone else during my marriage..for either of us.
Her relationship with the OW is mostly emotional and I would say there was minimal physical contact. From what I understand and tend to believe it was/is hugging and kissing and the kissing has (she says) stopped and lasted about a month back in March. I know for a fact there were plenty of racy pictures sent back and forth but I think that's as far as it went. The last time I asked about "them" about a month ago my W stated she still has "feelings" for the OW but isn't acting on them. (well I say she's acting but she thinks emotional connection must be no action) Anyway..
To my knowledge she has never once expressed to me that she would rather be in an alternate relationship instead of married to a man. She definitely said recently that she has no interest in meeting another man and if given a choice she would have a relationship with the OW - BUT she states that she will not take my children away from me back to the other state where we moved from (600 miles away) and hence won't (or can't) pursue that relationship.
SO - she will either decide to drive and visit a lot or the OW may separate / divorce and move this way...I have no idea. Of course the best case scenario is she finds her way back to reality and our marriage.
We had an exceptionally good sex life together until all of this happend. The last time we did make love she stated (later on) that she "felt nothing" (emotionally)..and for a woman to feel nothing emotionally is a nail in the coffin until I find a way to get her back. It's been a little over 3 months since we made love and now she won't even let me touch her bare skin.
I certainly had other issues..but none of them so serious that they couldn't be made better with communication instead of checking out of the marriage..but that's my fault for not seeing and hearing like I do now.
I am committed to DB'ing and finding a way to show her happiness in our marriage. I BELIEVE I can do it because I love this woman and don't want to be without her. I AM capable of moving on and would have probably done so already if we didn't have two awesome young kids. My W is not evil, I don't hate her or wish her ill will. I have truly forgiven her for going outside our marriage...she knows this. I am humble and I am not looking to even the score..I'm just trying to find out if she truly wants to be ROOMATES with no hope of a marriage again or something more. I guess the answer is time and patience.