So here is my question - am I shooting myself in the foot by going out with another woman? I am not looking to fall in love with someone else (as she has), I simply want some companionship like any man would...but I'm still officially married and feel quite guilty. Is this a WAW trap to pin me down and say "hey look what you did!" ? ?
My answer for you would be this...
What would YOU say to a friend, IF he asked you this question ???
As it was put to me when I faced this, was...
Do NOT let her off the hook for this...
What does that mean ??
What do you think that it means ???
What does it mean to you ???
This isn't tit-for-tat here. One hurt doesn't trump another hurt....
Are you married ???
What are your views on dating other people while being married ???
Do not make yourself a hypocrite
It seems as if there is more to what you are dealing with. This isn't a typical WAS here, that just wants out of a marriage. This is about HER inner identity/sexual identity.
Has she always expressed an interest in exploring that side of herself ???
When faced with an sexual identity crisis, the absolute perfect DBer could do everything correct, and still face the end of the marriage. It's not about who has done right, or who has done wrong here (although there are signs). It seems to be about the connection she feels with another Woman. Something that you may never be able to provide , or at least without a lot of surgical money tied up.
I think that even more-so than any other DBer, that you should really focus more on yourself, than her.
I'm not saying that you should just give up either. The day may come when she decides that she wants to be with a Man.
You need to do the work, to be that man that she wants....
What are some things that you could identify within yourself, that you do not like, or could change about yourself ?
What are some things that you always wanted to do, that you held back from doing, because you were married ??
