AS, I did send it to her via her son's address. She hasn't given me her new address and I can only figure it's because she is afraid I might show up there? I dont know but it is crazy for her to think that IMHO. I never caused her any physical harm etc. She knows this. I can only assume she simply doesn't "want me anymore" judging from the lack of contact from her.
I find myself for the past few days cycling into a "hey I didnt deserve the way she left me" mode. I'm mad one minute and very sad the next. After 6 months I'm still dealing with the emotions of having a supposed love one simply leave without even a two minute warning.
Even though I will probably never get an explanation from her the fact is after 13 years I at the very least deserved one. Although I'm somewhat surprised she hasn't filed for divorce yet I do think back to what her daughter told me a couple months ago. How her mother told her that if you can live without someone for a year then you can live the rest of your life without them and then stated who knows what will happen.
To me this is crazy talk. Maybe it has something to do with her mindset and maybe it doesn't. The only thing I do know is she left without saying she was and has since been very very aloof towards me. Guilt? I believe now that she has to feel some guilt for the way she has done this. Does it a make a difference, not really I presume.
So dont condemn here as I really felt the need to journal and express my feelings 6 months into this major event in my life.....And no, I do not expect her to provide me any answers as they would not help anyways. Nothing she could say would really make a difference at this point. BUt, the mindset into this kind of sitch might be helpful not only to me but to others as well.....
