I think you're right, that they pretty much have to work things through on their own, at their own pace. Which is frustrating! Because here we are, watching them transform, from a birdseye view. On the flip side, we have transformed as well, through all of this. We have come a long way with our DB'ing, getting a life, getting new hobbies, bonding with friends, working on our appearance, doing 180's, etc. I wrote on someone's thread once that I think H's mlc is causing me to have my own little mlc.. haha.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.