Everyone,

Thank you so much for your advice and for stopping by. It means quite a lot to me.

The week has been busy. Dad went in for his first surgery and the surgeon is optimistic. Second one will be on Friday.

I decided not to tell xSO. They were not really close. But more than that, I am trying to wean myself totally off xSO. If I had told him, I may have expectations on how he should respond and then been upset even more when he responded or even IF he responded. I don't tend to be a heart on my sleeve kind of person. Very private, as a matter of fact. Sharing things does not come easily to me and sharing things with someone who betrayed that trust already was not something I was willing to risk.

I have not heard from xSO since last weekend before last - all about the cars. He'll have to come up with another excuse if he wants to text me. I am still not as completely detached as I would like to be - detached-adjacent? - because his contact never fails to make me spin, even a little.

The conversation was so normal, although with some noticeable differences: he used my name (which he never did before) and he said, referring to the car: I can't wait to see it someday. We're too far apart physically.

My good friend (the only one I update), says he's playing me.

Her observation bothered me because it has some degree of truth in it. I may not contact him but I answer when he contacts me. That he is playing me, bothers me. No one wants to be played.

Especially if the GF is still in the picture.

I don't really know what to do, so I am "doing nothing". I recognize that I am a bit afraid to stop responding as that will mean The End. Funny, really, the end for us has already come and gone.

Life is busy and I am not dwelling on him. I wonder though why it is so difficult for me to completely walk away. To not answer his texts. There is no relationship here and I need more than a few text crumbs to believe that we will work it out. Not like he stole my lunch at recess.

I can no more explain my feelings and behaviour than I can explain his.

Job, I saw on another thread that you have premonitions. My two bucks is spent, any lottery numbers calling you? smile Do you ever have premonitions about the folks and their sitches on this board? I believe that we all have a bit of a sixth sense.