Is There Anything Left pt 5

[Not Quitting]

CP, aren't we all scared of everything to do with our sitches?

I watched my H grow his hair long, start working out like crazy (from no working out to daily work outs), change hairstyle back to crewcut, start wearing a chain again that he stopped wearing years and years ago and trade many of his old friends in for a new, much younger, single crowd. He drinks heavily and claims it's because his PTSD is worse than ever - personally I think his PTSD is worse because of his drinking but no one can tell him that. He complained that he was losing weight, and then admits that he's eating less now than he did when he lived at home.

The biggest problem is that his best buddy and a couple other really good friends (older ones that he hasn't traded in yet) are all going through or recently have gone through marital breakdowns. Combine that with the fact that his new friends are all single, that just reinforces in his mind that what he is doing is right. Even OW has been divorced nearly as long as we've been married and of course she's not going to tell him he's doing anything wrong.

On the rare occasion that he actually makes eye contact I can see in them that he's not happy, no matter how loudly he proclaims to be. And it hurts that I can only stand by and let him go through this on his own, that if I want to have any hope that he'll return to me one day I have to bite my tongue and take whatever pain he cares to dish out.