thank you for the hugs. And I must be okay with it because I am not bawling my eyes out, my heart is not pounding out of my chest and I feel a HUGE sense of relief!
I am at peace. I agree, etc, now he has some big things to think about and needs to work it out now, with himself. By his lonesome. His little wee-ness. His alien leader.
Sometimes...things have to be said. DB or not...
From today forward though, you really need to just sit back and listen if he chooses to talk.
Validate HIS concerns, yet DO NOT try to fix this for him, in any way...
If he asks you about finances again, then tell him that you don't know what you have planned for yourself.
If he asks where you you see "you" down the road ? Only speak of YOUR plans, that do not include him. Let him feel you being "gone" from him. Let him feel you "not there".
If he has another woman ? Let HER be his emotional support for now...
GIVE HIM WHAT HE HAS ASKED FOR....
Plain and simple....
I am a firm believer in letting the MLCer "own" their own garbage. It does no good for the LBS to carry around things for them, and free them to carry on carefree from the reality of the situation.
The fine line that the MLCer walks is between their fantasy world, and their reality. And when those two collide for them, the power shifts, so be ready for that to happen.
He will appear sullen, and beaten around you for a while, until he re-energizes from his power source ( friends that support, OW , etc ). Just don't expect him to be down for too long. The recharge happens fairly quickly in MLC land.
You will see the mask of euphoria not too far down the road, recognize it for what it is. It is only a mask, that hides the real pain that he is in.
What happened last night, was that you reclaimed a lot of power that he was taking from you. If you choose to talk too much, or try to fix too much, you will turn back into the monster for him, and he will try to run and push away again.
Let him come to you, and let him linger as much as he chooses to.
You have given him his emotional baggage to carry around now, don't pick up that load again.
You have taken your power back from him, don't let him steal it again.
It doesn't make you superior in any way, it just makes you....you
