So, you have made the decision to stand for your marriage a bit longer but detach more from your H.
Honey, we support whatever decision that you make. As long as you are not making that decision at Rosa's expense. I wish I knew for you what to make of your H.
From an outside perspective, it seems that he does not have much incentive to change right now - you and OW are still competing. His ego is loving it. I don't think it matters who or what she is - she feeds his ego. Her demands, even while annoying to him, feed his ego. She wants to be with him that badly. The more she "begs", the better he feels. Even if HE is aware that it is impossible for them to be together. In truth, your H is using two women right now - you and OW. I cannot begin to understand that mentality.
I am thrilled that you stated your boundary and hope for your sake that you do not have to enforce it. When you become stronger or more detached, you might draw a line at him contacting OW while in your home - that YOU pay for. If he wants to talk to her, he leaves the house. We are told only to set boundaries that we can enforce and you may not be ready for that.
Having your H home and around you has to be difficult. Mine appears every once in a blue moon and it never fails to make me uncomfortable. GAL and detaching are good goals, Rosa. Perhaps he will come out of the tunnel one day. Who can tell? Be true to you and take care of you. Know when it is time to say enough. That is the hard part, I think.
