Holy shite! I log in and see this whirlwind? Woman, I gave you my phone number so you can call me. Feel free to do that, okay?
I don't have D16 tonight. Want to go for a walk? I'll meet you.
Whew.
All in all, you handled a VERY difficult situation VERY well. I'm proud of you for validating and listening and not reacting or lashing out. That was extremely wise and will probably serve you well down the road. So you get an A on your report card for navigating a tough conversation with dignity and compassion. Go you!
Now, I know there are a few schools of thought on moving out. But when my XH moved out, that created the vacuum necessary to let the air out of the tires so to speak, and gave me the fortitude to really work on DBing. I didn't have to walk on eggshells anymore, I didn't have to hide what I was reading, and I sure as heck didn't have to worry about censoring every movement, facial expression or word in my house.
Then I worked on creating opportunities with every communication I had with him. Pud, it's not all for naught. I wish we learned these techniques when we were happier. We communicate really well now, and because of our disabled child, I'm going to be communicating with him for the rest of our lives. I don't regret that.
So don't give up. Sometimes they focus on getting what they want to the point of not seeing things clearly. Your H IS confused. When he moves out, that isn't going to change unless HE does something about it. He will either do it or he won't. But at least you won't have to wonder every night if he's going to ruin your day.
You can do this. So call or text me if you want to walk. I'll even hold your dog's leash if you want to cry.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
