My Wife is an Alien and its killing me...

[JFun51]

I'm in a bit of a spot with that scenario. With S10 and S12 in the house, my deciding to go somewhere and invite her along could be seen as "more of the same." Especially if I commit to going without her. I don't have the luxury of being that independent. If there is a date planned, I would have to arrange for the kids to go somewhere. A little more difficult, but I'm thinking through scenarios in which I could make it work.

Hard to be very positive today as last night was a step backwards. S10 and I were watching a movie and W decided she was interested for about 5 minutes then retreated to her room for the next 3 hours with her phone. I presume she was busy messaging her BFF or someone else. I was completely ignored when I turned in for bed as she continued to text/message and we both went to sleep without a word. She knows this pushes my buttons more than anything. Trying to push out negative thoughts today and act "as if" everything is rainbows and unicorns. I skipped my exercise last night as well, which contributes to ill feelings.

Worst part is, I'm not even sure I want to date her at this point. She has become one of those self absorbed narcissistic people that I cannot stand to be around. She has no regard for the people around her unless they are giving attention to her. This is so far from the selfless, giving person that she has always been. Do I need any more confirmation that she is in full blown MLC?

Side note:
I had a great talk with a close friend who just went through the same sitch with his W of 16 years about a year ago. Great therapy for us both to just talk and commiserate. They were separated for over 6 months. When I asked about the great moment when she finally owned up to her actions and took responsibility for her path of destruction, I saw a big strong man brought to tears. He recalled the night that she crawled up into his lap and cried for 2 hours because he had stood for her while she destroyed his life and their family with her actions. I was reminded that there is hope for us all.