Wonka - two flavors of actions - big - I decided what kind of car to buy, though W and d15 wanted one of those little Fiats, and little - the tulips are planted. Is that what you are looking for?
sandi2 - the coach twice said "since I am a divorce busting coach" or something similar. The thought behind the strategy seemed to be to do a 180 by taking the lead on this, to say sorry and that she has treated me lousily in so many words, and to encourage W and I to heal back together. I've also read here on DB that the shock of the real often causes a WAS to reconsider. I find it risky to say "sure, I'll sign the divorce papers" and also to put the house on the market earlier than W had planned, especially given her clearly stated intentions.
All - I'll decide something. The worst case would be to not have done anything, to not have given something a shot. L
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
