well I am now past the 1 year point of W being gone and I feel like I have hit a brick wall for some reason..I was doing so well GALING and such and then when I came back from vacation with my kids I found myself missing her a lot and I don't know why because before I left I did not find that...maybe it was her telling her boss wants to set her up with a rich guy and stuff...maybe I thought all this would be over after a year.
well just got back from trip...and W was angry we did not call more and tell her when exactly we were coming back...I told her she could have called and she said she did a lot but I checked the phone records and saw that no she did not call a lot but I did not tell her that. W also told me that her boss wants to hook her up with her "rich friend" soley because he has money...that kinda hurt...
I would just say you never had any missed calls and your not interested in hearing about who people are trying to set her up with. It's quite insensitive of her and it's up to you to tell her whether you want to hear about it or not.
I honestly don't know anything about your sitch I've just read your last few posts. Have you done anything with boundaries?
Originally Posted By: 7720
well I am now past the 1 year point of W being gone and I feel like I have hit a brick wall for some reason..I was doing so well GALING and such and then when I came back from vacation with my kids I found myself missing her a lot and I don't know why because before I left I did not find that...maybe it was her telling her boss wants to set her up with a rich guy and stuff...maybe I thought all this would be over after a year.
I think it's quite common for these feelings after a vacation or anything significant in our lives. Getting back to real life can bring us down.
Detach, GAL, and keep going.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I have not posted here for a while as I have not had much going on but now I do....W is pressuring her parents for money to back to school. She wants to get a Masters of Fine Arts...and that is fine but it bugs me....they paid all her undergrad----in art---I had to put myself through with a combination of student loans and working lots of crazy jobs! I know I can't be jealous---I ended up with a strong work ethic and strong sense of responsibility but where does it end...do they pay for my kids college as well? and their retirement...It is hard for me to compete with her parents because with me she has to be an adult with them she can go back to college! Debt free! They also have set up retirement account for her and add to that monthly! But I digress! If my W decides to go to school out of state what should I do? I think she wants to go live with some old hippie friends of hers that I don't approve of...she wants to take the kids to see them in Las Vegas for Thanks Giving and I can't say anything because if I do then I won't be able to take my kids out of state to see my parents.... Good Grief!!!
wells lets see I just went to a board meeting for my daughters school....and A lot of the divorced moms were asking me when I was getting divorced! I didn't know that everybody knew! Well I guess they all do now; I have always been afraid of the community finding out but I know that is probably my own irrational thinking. I am embarrassed about it a bit and a little bit...lotta bit uncomfortable with the forwardness of people about it....
It is hard for me to compete with her parents because with me she has to be an adult with them she can go back to college! Debt free!
I don't really see that as your "competition", generous parents aren't really a replacement for a husband. Maybe I don't understand the sitch, but it sounds to me like she's furthering herself through higher education and it will not affect you any since her parents are paying for it. You're still S'd right? So it's really none of your concern. Remember, you live your life and let her live hers!
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If my W decides to go to school out of state what should I do?
If your concern is that you'll lose access to your D's, then consult a lawyer ASAP. I'm not sure what your rights are in S versus D, some states (like mine) don't recognize S at all. You may have to file D to ensure she doesn't have a legal right to take the girls with her. But again, I'm not sure so talk to a L.
I guess you are right...I need to let that side of me go. D's called W and asked if they could change the time they spend with me and her....they wanted it longer as they felt that it was too short to get used to one place and then have to move to the other. W was frustrated and wanted them to sign a contract that they would have to stick with this new arrangement. I told her I thought we should do what is best for the D's. She thinks that they should be "fine" with this by now and it is a perfectly normal thing they are going through.
