F, very wise words that you have written. Yes I am certain I have been forgiven by a lot of people, including the W. Yes, there probably isn't any great book that is going to help.It is simply an idea or choice that I have to make on this journey. I see how my guilt has probably been the thing that has been letting me down for so long in this sitch. Not that is has caused more issues, but the guilt has stopped me moving forward so much more. I have felt guilt over quite a lot of things: the boys feelings of losing parents being together, guilt of having to move to the country (rather than me having a better job that didn't require moving), guilt of all the actions/inactions pre BD, guilt over how the in-laws feel about me. Guilt of losing a long term marriage etc. I do need to accept where I went wrong (and this has been done), but now I do need to also forgive myself for a lot of the above things. It isn't fair to blame the sons feelings on what I did, nor is it fair to feel guilt with the in-laws when it was their daughter that left.
Tomorrow is my BD anniversary, and I think I will be making a vow to myself to forgive myself. Otherwise I am never going to be the better person I want to be.
One of these days F, I really am going to try and make my way over your side of the world to simply shake your hand and thank you. And have a beer or three.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
