He's the confused one...

[job]

When my xh was in the throes of the really angry/replay stage. He was so angry all of the time when it came to do w/anything about me, the finances or the home. He lash out all of the time and he purposely did things to try to destroy me.

BRNR, some of them are just plain angry and nasty and will continue to lash out at us whether we are bothering them or not. All you can do is state your business and be prepared for some nasty outcomes. It's really not about you, but they are so damn angry at themselves, their lives, the emotional pain that they are experiencing and their parents. They can be dangerous when they are like this because they have absolutely no "emotional" control over that anger.

My xh was angry from late 1999 and was still that way even after we divorced in June of 2002. In August of 2002, when I had left a check w/my lawyer for him for his share of the equity from our home, my lawyer advised me he was still one angry man. From that time until Feburay 2005, I do not know what his temperament was, but he definitely was still coming to my residence and moving things around in the yard, taking packages off of my steps when deliveries were made and yes, those infamous telephone call all of the time both at home and work. They actually continued until the ow was taken ill.

My suggestion is to prepare for the worse and hope for the best. When they are angry like that, change the subject very quickly and it will comfuse them as well as diffuse some of the anger. Don't try to defend yourself or try to rationalize w/them because that makes them even worse.

Conversations about money, the relationship, etc., will make them angry. The best thing to do is leave the communication line open, but allow him to communicate w/you. Document everything and keep that information in a safe place for now.

Even if you divorce, his anger may still be in place for a number of years. We just don't know how he'll be.