Who is this woman & what has she done with my wife

[THX-1138]

W is back in her apartment after an 11 day MLC vacation with her old college buddies.

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This morning I got a text from her. She wants to get together at the pub tonight to discuss some "business" (probably financial), our son's school/homework situation, and "just to catch up".

I have been dark for over a month now, and I want her to miss me. At the same time, I might want to allow her to see how great it feels to be around me.

She is definitely in the mindset of thinking we are now going to be great friends. She has completely moved on from thinking of us as a couple, to feeling that we are now good old buddies who used to be married. So this is serious cake eating. But it would also be an opportunity for me to give her "a fix" so to speak, because I know she is missing me, even though she won't admit it, even to herself.

But the idea of going out with her and having a couple beers worries me. I am still very hurt and angry, and we are right in the middle of getting a divorce! Why does she think I would want to go hang out at the pub and catch up? She seems to think that I should just be over this already!

But I think it also might be the right for me to do, because I am not pursuing, I am not saying ILY, or having R talks, or trying for hugs, etc. I would be cool, and leave first, and be attractive, mysterious, interesting and vague if possible.

[It is worth noting that my W has been very nice through this whole thing, she hasn't attacked me verbally or done many of the horrid things to me, like a typical MLC spouse does. She has acted more like a walk-away-wife to me, though all of the ways she has changed her life are classic horrible MLC (new apartment, new young single friends, EA's, PA, spending sprees, etc.)]

Should I go with out her?

Should I decline?

I am considering writing a response to her text like this:

"W, Thanks for your invitation to meet at the pub, but I am afraid I must decline. Your text brings to mind several issues that you seem to be unaware of: We are right in the middle of becoming divorced. This is a divorce that you filed for, and that I do not want. I am still very hurt, depressed, and angry about this. I am not going to simply get over this in a few weeks.

Why do you think I would want to go hang out at the pub,"just to catch up"? Do you really think that I should be over this already? That while in the process of you destroying our relationship, our financial security, our children's home life, and our life plans, I should be ready to go hang out with you at the pub "just to catch up"?

Sincerely,
H"

Or do I just bite my tongue, hold my nose, man-up, and go be charming? Put on some cologne, and let her see what she has been missing.

Your comments, as always, are appreciated.