Hoping to still move forward, huge setback

[cbtdad]

Just coming to kind of journal. The past couple of days I have been very disappointed me attitude and behavior. I think the fact that W hung out with OM Saturday had brought up a lot of bat emotions for me. I have gone back to "poking" her and trying to start arguments to discuss these things. This is not who I want to be. All of these things should be in the past. I do believe we when she says its all in the past, but why am I having hard time accepting this.
I feel like I am having some anxiety about our marriage the last couple of days because I'm not getting the attention I want. I've even said some nasty things to her and it makes me feel bad about me when I do.
I had finally got to a better place and was not bringing these thoughts up or even thinking about the much anymore. Then after she saw him its like it has brought up a lot of hurt and anger in me.
The W thinks we need to meet each other. She thinks it would help me move forward like it did for her. The OM friend tells me OM respects the fact that wife ad I are back together and nothing would ever happen.
I've told wife I could see myself meeting him, but its not like I want to hang out and be friends with the guy. This is only an issue became we both have become good friends with OM friends. I do want to continue to be friends with them so i do kind of feel like maybe meeting OM and putting the awkwardness in the past my help.
I need to focus on the future and let go of the past. Wasting energy on te unchangable past does nothing good for the positive future.
That is my plan. Time to get back to moving towards present and future