Rise & Shine - Need Support

[Pudmuddle]

After a good nights sleep, I feel better this morning. I realized that my frustration is coming from an internal battle within myself, not really from anything that my H is doing or not doing. Since it is an internal struggle, it is something that I can control!!

You are growing girl! This is so awesome when you get to this point. You are getting it now, it's all about you!

I have been struggling with the fact that I continue to be helpful and accommodating to H. I have been questioning whether or not I should continue to act in this manner. For example, H was at my house on Sunday. He decided not to stay for dinner because he needed to leave and get some work done. I had made a big batch of chili so I packed some up for him to take with him. He also called me to asked for help in getting a car seat for his car for one of the boys. H mentioned that I was really good at this type of stuff, so he was hoping I could help. I have been beating myself up over whether or not I should be doing this type of stuff or whether I should stop and do a complete 180.

I struggled with this too for quite awhile. I came to this realization a few weeks ago and I now do these things because I WANT TO. Detaching from your H's emotions is very hard, because you only want to help them and make them happy. But right now we simply cannot and they don't want our help. We can only make ourselves happy.

I don't need to become a completely different person, just a better version of myself. So here is my list of things that I want to work on and improve:

AWESOME! Yes!!

The majority of my anger is related to the affair. I am just going to have to fake it until I can make it through those emotions. I know that it is going to take me a long time to get past the pain and betrayal. So in the meantime, I will try not to obsess over it and try to focus on myself.

Thanks for all the advice and support.

Yes, the A stinks. But it won't last because your H is still same and has the same issues. Those will eventually spill over into his new life. Don't let them control your headspace, it gives them more power.

You are doing so well! I am proud of you for coming to these realizations. It feels good, doesn't it???!!