CC, He's doing something different, i.e., making lists. Recognize him for his efforts, which I think you did. Clarity comes in bits and pieces and maybe, just maybe this is something new for him, i.e., the opposite of what he would have done pre-crisis.
If he does some of the "honey do list" items, be sure to recognize him for doing them. They are like kids and soak up the affirmation and recognition.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
