Me 1 year on

[Fartiltre]

If I respond to her email, leave if for a day or two, and then respond with a short note. Something along the lines of "W, I accept your offer, I am sorry it has come to this. hotwheels".

I would properly consider not replying at all! If you reply I agree with the rest!

I am coming out of this asset split smelling like roses and I don't like it. For 23 years of marriage, the W will be walking away with $23k and a jet ski worth $15k. The old car worth about $2k and her belongings she took.

Me, I purchase both properties from her (that the bank owns most of) value nearly $700k, I have the new car $30k, my motorbike $10k, all the furniture and household stuff we have amassed over the years.

Now when I get the reply from the W, agreeing to the splitting of assets, all I can feel is sadness because it looks like all I have done is thought about myself again. Even though, all I have really done is agreed to her terms.

She made the terms!!
It is her suggestions not yours!
She is walking away with 40K and you with 40K if I do the math in the above. You will keep the house that the banks owns most of but you have done the monthly payments and took care of it all for a year.
She doesn’t want the furniture so you keep them.
She a grown up woman making a choice and the choice seems just fine to me!
You haven’t bullied her in anyway so IMO let it go!

Stop putting guilt on you! STOP!!

But…If you still find it to be unfair then change it but do NOT guilt yourself! Nothing good will come from that!

Please give some advise how I can continue on the right path with all of this.

HWA, you are on the right path!
I cant answer your why, why, why since I am struggling with the same questions. I am telling you this just to let you know that this is properly the way of the WAW. When they move they move and they don’t look back until they look back. My W left all kind of belongings – also personal stuff. I have read about WAWs doing this all the time so put these questions in the box with the rest. Perhaps your W will answer them one day and perhaps she won’t.
Many questions about the way of the WAW can be answered and some cannot. I would also like to understand things – just like you, but we also have to realize that we will properly never understand it all.

I think I have to simple accept my M is over.

It has been for a year now but a new romance will come and it still might be with W. That decision is yours to make if the possibility arises. Until then you and only you decides what will make you happy!


Stay on the path! Make YOU and your sons happy! The best way to make your sons happy is properly to make you happy!
Make yourself a new set of goals when you move and start working them!
You know the words: Focus on you, detach and GAL!

All the best
F

PS: Finishing this post I am leaning more and more towards not answering her e-mail at all! If you want to write her something you can always do it when the papers arrive.
Remember this one:

2. No frequent phone calls to spouse.......let him/her be the one to call you. Then don't try to hang on to your spouse through conversation.....instead, you say good-bye first.

IMHO you have never applied this – perhaps it is time to do this! As I recall you have always replied and maybe even pursued a little when you got the chance.
She didn’t state a question of any kind! She simply informed you about something. Think about it without emotions and get rid of the urge to write her before you decides to do it!
Give it a thought!

PPS:

While I might be feeling this way.....at times. It was meant to say "i will post the reply to the W up here".

Good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor. This made me LOL!!