Questions on the 37 rules and other advice...

[S4tk]

So we are looking to rent a place ASAP. The problem is that my wife wants to move there alone (or with the kids, but without me). I fear this will communicate to our daughter that I am the one "leaving" since the three of them will be in their place together and I will still be living with family.

Does anyone think any of this is important?

Absolutely, it's very important. Normally we advise the LBS not to leave the home because the kids view their home as a safe place and the person they see leaving the home is the one they think is "abandoning" them. So if the LBS allows the WAS to kick them out, it can actually make it appear to the kids as if the LBS is the WAS. In your case it's a very tricky sitch because you're in temporary living arrangements right now, but I guess my question is why is W taking the kids? I realize you're living with family, but can you at least arrange to have them half of the time?

Yes. Your reply made me realize that if she does want to move to the new place by herself, then I should keep the kids here at my parents' place. Since we have been here a month, and last year were we here on furlough for 4 months - the kids do see it as a kind of home. So if they continue to stay while W moves into the new place, then it will communicate to them that when they go to her, it will be like visiting. This probably sounds like a better idea, eh?