Fog City Coaster continues

[2ndtimearoundCA]

I believe that my w will just disappear if I go dark for the following reasons

I think a lot of people recommend going dark when what they really mean is to detach. Personally I see going dark as a last resort, it is something the LBS does for themselves to help them detach and drop the rope. Going dark rarely if ever gets people back together, because basically going dark is the LBS making themselves unavailable to the WAS, which the WAS interprets as the LBS being cold and distant. What WAS wants to get back together with a cold and distant LBS? I think a more appropriate approach is for the LBS to allow the WAS to see them being happy/ content/ independent/ sexy. Let them see you living your own life, let them see that you will be fine with or without them. Adopt a "friendly neighbor" attitude when you're around them, be nice rather than cold and distant. This isn't "dark" and it isn't "pursuit", it's kind of inbetween.

Thanks AS

That pretty well sums up what I am doing. Still there is some wiggle room for giving a little more or a little less space and I struggle with that. I have found that I can give my w a little nudge (maybe a text about a bill, or a random comment about liking wine), and w will text me the next day with a response and ask me to have a drink or dinner with her. Now I am trying to see if she will reach out on her own without a nudge. I debate with myself about how long to go before I nudge her a little.