In my opinion asking questions like this at this stage increases the likelihood for conflict and drama. There is already more drama involved in these situations than most of the parties involved can easily tolerate.
GM is right it is better to shift focus to what you are doing than to ask about anything beyond what is needed for the children.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
d gets text from h on my phone. asking how was your day...then goes to ask me in the same text... how do I want to get the papers.? I had told h earlier that I did not want to be served. I am full of cold. my head and ears are clogged. I have HW to do.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
How do I respond to h's question about the papers?
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
GM, thank you for checking in and your wise advice. I know all of this in my head. I don't want to be that bitter crazy woman. I speak and react to h with kindness and compassion. no I certainly don't like what he has done to our family, but I realize this is his journey. As much as I want to shake him to wake up...I know I can't make him do anything. I do see an IC. I am doing all the right things for me...I have a great support group. maybe one day I wont give a crap about what h does. wish I could get there in fact. I still love that man though. So, what can I do but trust in God's plan for me. I I know I have to come to a place of acceptance. thank you again
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
help!! papers being served. I told h I did not want to be served. I said he could drop papers in the box. I get a text from him just now, h says hi, I know you want me to drop papers in the box. but I cant. He then asks to let him know a time when someone can give them to me. he says its quick... I will ask him why he can't give them to me-I feel being served is disrespectful to me and is the route that people use when they are being ugly or not communicating. we have been amicable. I want to say I think its cowardly, but I won't. I'd like to say, I see, you are so busy at work that you have time to deal with this...I guess it doesn't help my case that h is in city where ow is. I am trying to be still a moment. I will ask again for him to bring them to me and I will take them to my attorney. Or, he can take them to my attorney. why am I struggling with this? Because it is frightening. funny too, I was just looking at Retrouville when that text came thru. We are on 2 different pages.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Willbwell, so sorry you have to face your H like that. I don’t understand why is he insisting to serve the papers to you instead of just mailing or dropping them off? What is so significant about this for him? I would not argue with him right now. If you want to wait it out, then do. I feel your pain, but I have no advice on how to proceed. The only thing I can tell you is that more you resist, the more he will persist with this.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
help!! papers being served. I told h I did not want to be served. I said he could drop papers in the box. I get a text from him just now, h says hi, I know you want me to drop papers in the box. but I cant. He then asks to let him know a time when someone can give them to me. he says its quick...
He's right, unless you signed a waiver then you've got to be "officially" served by the court (I assume you're in the US). Your H can't give you the papers directly (again, unless there's a waiver). Did you offer to sign the waiver?
Quote:
I am trying to be still a moment. I will ask again for him to bring them to me and I will take them to my attorney. Or, he can take them to my attorney.
By law you're the one that needs to be served the papers unless you signed the waiver.
Just noticed in your sig that you're in TX, I'm not sure if it's allowable to post a link directly to the form so I'll instead tell you to Google "divorce waiver form in texas" and click on the state PDF link (there's one for "with children" and one for without). I just read the form and am surprised to see that it says that in signing the form you also waive your right to appear in court to present your side of the argument, so perhaps it's not a good idea to sign this, especially if you have any concerns that your H will try to take advantage of that. I thought the waiver was only to waive being "officially" served. If you don't sign it then you MUST be served by a sheriff, constable or server. That can be difficult and embarrassing, but it may be the safest option to protect yourself.
AS, thanks for the info. I didn’t know that there are specific rules to be served. What if I file in my state, but H is in another state, does he have to be served as well?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
I will say it here because I know it is a safe place. I won't say to h, I didn't respond yet because I was picking up the kids from school, getting their dinner ready and folding constant laundry, meanwhile you are out la-di-da on expense account. I know that makes me sound bitter and angry.
No one says to h how stupid he is being. friends reach out to him but nobody pushes it. He doesn't want to talk they tell me. Well of course he doesn't! I feel like he gets a free pass. Of course he doesn't want to hear what an a// he is being. he is getting what he wants- D. I am getting nothing.
I want compassion. I want peace. Anger is brewing at the surface and I am praying hard to not cave into it.
I will text him later tonight. I will not sign a waiver.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
