CC, Your h isn't the same person he was pre crisis. He is now the exact opposite, so if he took care of himself before, he most likely won't now. They can either gain a lot of weight or lose a lot of weight...it just depends on how the depression hits them. My xh lost a lot of weight and later on during the crisis gained a large amount of weight to the point of being obese and still is.
Your h has a lot of childhood issues going on and he sounds a lot like my xh not being financially or emotionally mature. It takes a long time for them to figure things out. I do hope your h comes through his crisis a better man. Just remember, it will take as long as it takes for him to resolve his issues.
Dig deeper for patience and learn as much as you can about depression and mlc. Knowledge is power.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
