"homework" from job - Hi Job, thank you

[Pudmuddle]

job, thanks for the reference to hrm134. she was truly amazing during her H's whole journey and her sense of humor was a BLAST! That's what I've missed about me, I've always been told I have a witty sense of humor, often times just silly, but I see it coming back and it feels good. (Ang, you should check out her threads, nice read, good story, lots of humor)

Underdog, Betsey my friend, I had such and AMAZING time last night. Your crockpot dinner was wonderful and the talk was even better. It was so nice to actually meet someone on here and talk face-to-face. I thought your daughter was lovely, even though she was sleepy! Maybe soon you can find her the right meds so she will feel more alert. Thanks again for a wonderful, thoughtful evening.

Dragon, thank you so much for checking in on me. We have to keep each other going.

Ang, Thanks for the encouragement. As we both know it's harder some days than others.

cat, I don't mind the harshness, it helps to see it in a way where I might be stuck. so THANK YOU.

Cadet, too true right, she is awesome.

Today, I awoke with renewed vigor. I have realized I want to try and make this crazy train of a marriage work. I want to see the good people my H used to be. I know he is there. After reading hrm's posts, I came to this realization. I actually took all morning off work to finish reading her posts! LOL. And the nice evening with Betsey helped spur me on too.

I have been dreading the holidays, so I instead decided to turn that around and MAKE it happy! I walked down to the basement and dug out all of my fall and Halloween decorations. I pulled all the boxes up myself. Normally I would have asked H to do this, but I'm sure he forgot how.

I left them out since I didn't have time to put anything up yet, but will do that with my S later tonight. Let's see what kind of reaction H will have. Any bets? let's see...nothing, or anger, or sadness.

I also decided I am just going to do what I feel like doing and not question anything on how H will behave or does behave. I saw a bunch of clothes on his bed not folded so I walked in and folded them all. Then I got all of the laundry out of the dryer and took it up to my room to fold. It was mostly his stuff, I left it on my bed all folded. He will have to come up to my room (gasp!) to retrieve it.

Then I put some chicken in the crockpot this morning for a nice tasty dinner for me and S tonight. H can have some if he is so inclined.

He didn't get home til almost midnight last night, so I expect him to be weary tonight. But I didn't care this time that he was out longer than usual. It's weird he goes out on Sunday nights because he has to work the next day.

I noticed yesterday that he was not into separating our laundry, he actually came up and asked if I had any stuff to go in the wash. He also actually folded some of my laundry, and actually put my socks and undies in their drawers. He would have just left them on my bed or downstairs before. And...he actually TOUCHED my underwear!! lol. sigh.

I've noticed too, that he is noticing how much I am taking on by myself. This is what prompted questions about does he need to help with S's to and fro from therapy and asking about a few other things he could "help" with.

So I did all these things for me, not because I was trying to impress him, it just felt good to be me. Because I am AWESOME.