Living on a roller coaster

[job]

CC,
The forgetfulness, lack of motivation, etc. are signs of depression and yes, they do tend to have selective memory while in mlc. Please remember that depression is the driving force behind MLC and when they do eventually get to the stage of serious depression, that depression is very dark and deep and that's when withdrawal is very noticeable.

You h is most likely replay and depression. The stages are just tools to help you better understand what he's experiencing. Your h can move through all of them, bouncing back and forth. The only stage that will not be bounced around, i.e., back and forth is acceptance. When they get to this stage they won't go all of the way back to anger. They may revisit a bit of replay, but nothing like they did in the beginning. They will struggle w/themselves trying to find the right "persona" to exit with...but that's a ways down the path.

It takes as long as it takes and there is no set time limit for the stages. H determines when he moves along and how fast. His issues will drive that bus for him.

Again, the stages are only meant to help you better understand the personality changes. Timelines will vary as well as how your spouse will grow during his crisis, i.e., the stages. The stages are very similar to grieving.