Well I'm not sure what to tell you then. I just know from my experience that our sitch surfaced 2 1/2 years ago. We've both have been through a lot of counseling, both together and separate, we were separated for about 14 months, she ultimately had a short term EA/PA, and we've been back together for 14-15 months, and we still both occasionally back slide.
We had many texts/arguments as you described up until the 10-11 months of being separated. I don't think I even recognized I had my own issues until the 6th or 7th month of being apart, and even then it took 5-6 months of working on "me" before we started talking about getting back together.
We don't know you and can only share experiences. I can only share with you that it's a long process and takes a lot of work. I sense that you sometimes get defensive when you hear advice on here, and if my "Spidey Senses" are accurate, then she probably senses it as well in your encounters/fights/texts.
Your mileage may vary.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
