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[NotAgainPlease]

Well I am at this again after 7 years. We were separated for 8 months last time.

This time it is a little different. We have been married almost 15 years and together for 19. We have twin boy/girl 13 year old. My husband has been through a lot of stress for the past 3 years becoming a firefighter paramedic. We have had financial trouble due to this as well.

We have nasty fights and throw around the D word as a threat. I know how wrong this is! DH also drinks a lot. During the week 2-4 beers most nights. When we go to a party he will get trashed. He tells me I am boring because I don't drink a lot and I am not a bundle of fun. I told DH I have to drive your drunk ass home! I grew up with an alcoholic father and hate it. His father and grand father I would call both alcoholics and they both cheated on their spouses. I would say DH drinking has been a major problem for us. He says I am the one who has a problem with is drinking. DH has cut down in the past couple of years. I have learn no to make him mad to avoid a nasty fight.
A month ago DH went to his 20 year reunion and ended up staying in a 5th grade GF's room. He says he has always liked her. Swears they did not have sex. However, they have been having an EA ever since. The got a prepaid phone because I found 10-15 text and 60-90 min calls everyday.
When I found out about her he said they were just friends but he doesn't love me anymore and wants a divorce. He said there is no way we we will get back together!!He says he is dead in side for me. Not her apparently. But, wants to stay in the house for the kids. He said we would try to work on us. Then I found the other phone. DH then said he was lying and had no intentions on working on us. He is in love with EA and never loved anyone like her. He is very angry at me and says we have had a horrible marriage. We can't get along and push each others buttons. He likes to tell me things to get a reaction and then I explode. I am embarrassed to say I am a yeller and trying to work on that. That is his major issue with me.
After DH said 3-4 times saying he has stopped with her and not. I told him he was right we had a bad marriage and we needed to get a divorce. DH said "I thought we were staying together for the kids?" I said I wanted to but I can't handle you EA. Again, he said he would give her up, doesn't want to but will to stay and gave me the other phone.
This was 3 days ago. He sent her a text from regular phone that supposedly says the couldn't talk "right now". WTH! I said that sounds like a few days to me. He wanted to talk to her and let her know what was happening. Oh, I forgot to mention she is also married. He has yet to go one day without contact. Sent her a text late last night. So giving me the other phone is no big deal if he is just using the other one.
I love my husband and want to work it out but he says he hates me and doesn't want to talk to me. I told him if he stayed I wanted to act like a couple and he needs to stay in the bedroom (couch for 2 weeks) and not contact with EA. EA not happening yet but down to once daily, ha ha.
DH slept in the bed 3 nights ago. In his sleep bugged me all night for sex. I finally woke him up. We talked and he said he didn't want me just horny. DH said he wanted to be honest and didn't want to lie to me anymore.
We have tried to get along and work on arguing to defuse it. It is hard for me not to pick about the EA. I am working on it daily and he is too.
Last time he left sex was the only thing that kept us bonded. We ended up having sex that night and then he was very remorseful saying he feels bad for using me for sex.
I have read DB & DR in the past and skimmed through to refresh. I am kind of a loss about what to do next. Since he is home it is hard.
Sorry so long I wanted to give the whole picture.