DARK - how do you do it right? I need help BADLY

[DTM]

Thanks again for the encouragement and replies.
I understand the GAL thing and I have been distancing myself from my wife doing the things I like. I have two kids (8 & 7) that I prefer to put first though. As for me being in shape...always have been, avid weight lifter and cyclist..the only thing to change on my end is my happiness which is why I was concerned about seeing other women...if it was a terribly bad idea or not? It's almost like my wife is encouraging me to do it but I'm apprehensive to think she is setting me up somehow. I wouldn't do it to make her jealous but if that was a byproduct I wouldn't complain about it either. As a person I was always giving - obviously missed some subtle hints along the way as it pertained to my wife's needs..but I still "do" for my wife...because that's me. I guess it would be a 180 if I quit washing her car, cleaning house, promoting her business and generally giving a damn. Sometimes I feel like contacting the other woman and telling her to give me my wife back, but I'm sure that will just make matters worse...even if I was was nice about it.
Other times I think about cancelling her cell phone (which I pay for) because she is glued to it...and I mean glued. If I had to guess I would say my wife is truly going through a MLC (at 34 years old)...she doesn't know what she wants only that she isn't happy, doesn't love me like a wife should love her husband and would rather be in a relationship with her girlfriend...who is still married..but barely.
I will continue to work on myself to be a happier person...hopefully it will fill her with guilt one day. Being what I consider "unloving" to someone you truly love is not an easy thing for me to swallow...I hate it but I am willing to do it if it clears her head.
Again, comments from those that have been there / done that are greatly appreciated...you have my attention.