W finished her radiation treatments last Tuesday so she's finished with the cancer treatments now. D16 invited her out to dinner with us that evening but W already had plans. D16 assumed it was with OM and got pretty angry over it. She vented a bit to me and S10 overheard. Later he was acting sad and I asked him why and he said "because mom is going out on a date with (OM)". I explained to him that we didn't know who she was going out with, just that she had "other plans". He seemed OK after that. Lesson learned, just because he's in another room doesn't mean he's not listening! Anyway, while W was doing her "other plans", D16, S10 and I went to the store and got some stuff to decorate her house, then went over and hung pink balloons, streamers, flags and a custom banner that said "Congratulations mom!" D16 also had a great idea, we took two cupcakes and frosted one white and the other black and put Hershey kisses on them for nipples, then drew W on a piece of paper with a bubble that said "Yay, I'm done!" The cupcakes were the boobs on the drawing. The black/ white thing is a reference to a joke W kept making about her having one white boob and one black and purple one (from the radiation). W called all of us later to thank us for doing that, and she thought the boob thing was hilarious
I talked to her last night and she said her energy levels are coming back up. She did look and sound more peppy.
My brother and his kids came to visit last weekend so we could all go see D18 working at Thrillvania. We went Saturday night and had a blast! I can't remember if I mentioned before but S10 and I made a costume for him, it took a couple of weeks and is a character called "Pyro" from a video game called "Team Fortress 2". S10 wanted to wear the costume there and he was a huge hit! He had a gas mask on and people didn't know what to think, they seemed to alternate between scared/ freaked out and overcome with feelings of cuteness, LOL! Countless girls posed with him to have their pictures taken. He totally ate up all the attention I texted W and told her about it while it was taking place, she wanted me to send her some pics but it was too dark for my phone's camera to capture anything.
W and I traded some emails last week regarding Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. We'll be doing Thanksgiving separately like we did last year. The girls want to do Christmas together, so we'll probably do that at my house on Christmas morning. I asked W the status of the D paperwork, it's been a month since she said she would bring the papers by "next week". She said that she reviewed the papers and wanted to change a few things, but hasn't felt like dealing with it lately. I didn't press for any info beyond that.
Originally Posted By: willbwell
I told him I did not want to be served. On the one hand, I feel I am making this so easy for him.
I know it seems that way, but when the LBS digs in their heels and tries to delay the process, all it does is just make the WAS angry and spiteful. A story I sometimes share is back when I was dating, I broke up with a girl who then went into full pursuit mode. The more she pursued the more I just wanted her gone! Another time I broke up with a girl who just said she understood and that it was probably for the best and went on her merry way. I soon found myself wondering why she was so eager to end things, and I ended up pursuing her! The point I'm trying to make is if you make things difficult you just come off looking like the needy, desperate spouse who can't live without the WAS. But if you don't stand in the way, then you maintain dignity and he will admire and respect you for it, if not now then later. I'm not saying to help with the divorce, I'm just saying not to interfere with it.
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Really I am sad for h that he thinks D is the only option. I know I cannot stop him. I do validate and say I am sorry that you feel this way h. We will continue to be in pretty much daily contact due to kids.
It's tough to validate when we're in such a painful sitch, but it's the right thing to do. Hang in there! And remember that D isn't the end, it's your choice how long you want to hold onto hope.
