Thank you, Mimi and BF, for your input and support. I had a hard time letting go of the negative emotions last night (wasn't a good night sleep at all) but I feel a little better now. I clearly remember the conversation I had with her when I expressed my concerns about my R with her after the D, and her words, "once a daughter-in-law, always a daughter-in-law. We will always stay in touch!" I now see how many people aren't true to their words. I always am, so it's difficult when people behave in ways different to my values.
Mimi, you might be right about my MIL thinking of the baby pictures, but in all these years, she NEVER posted on FB (not once.) The only posts on her timeline were of me and her High School friends wishing her a happy birthday (back in June.) BF, your reference to the brain surgery made me smile :-) She already has 4 grandchildren which take up most of her time, and she told me she thought Joe was joking when he told her about the OW's pregnancy. She said she didn't know what to say (sorry or congratulations.) So her behavior is puzzling.
But as we do with our S's and former S's, is best to not mind read and just move on.
Meanwhile, I deleted all her side of the family from my email list. I will contact the uncle and grandma in Jan when I return to CA to see if they want to meet me for dinner. If they say no, I won't contact them again. They also told me they would always be there for me, but now I don't know if I believe them.
