Well, I'm "officially done". I has texted W about S11s iPod being locked up, and she told me how to fix it. She always like feeling like she was helping, so I complimented her and thanked her. I was playing the XBOX she got me for Christmas, and told her it was the coolest gift - she said I never splurged on myself, so she wanted to. I told her she was thoughtful and I appreciated that in her.
Then she launched into a litany of the past; rewrite history about how hard she tried while I did nothing, blah blah. I told her I regretted the past, and that was the reason I was working so hard on the present. She said "F you, you shouldve done it before". I said, "I can't change the past, but I can ask for your forgiveness, and we can let it go together". She went on and on about how she had friends who would sign statements saying I had said mean things. So I asked her what purpose she was looking for with rehashing past, divorce, etc. I said again I can't change the past no matter how much I regretted it, so is divorce a punishment?
She said that I had been great for two months but it would fade and I'd go back. I said I didn't know how else to prove her wrong if she wasn't willing to see.
Then she went on and on about the past, and being nasty, and I finally stopped her, and said, "I am not going to discuss the past anymore, unless you want to talk to me about how it made you feel so we can improve communication or our relationship or something. To sit and play a blame game is just going to cause resentment and bitterness."
She launched into more, and I quit even trying to DB because I just stopped caring. I said why would you call me and tell me you loved me and didn't want divorce if you were just gonna let the past ruin any other options?
I said, "I'm moving on, I'm done. I told you I wouldn't quit on you, and I won't but you quit on me. So enjoy living in the past, I'm going to the future."
No response, and frankly, I don't care. I don't need any 2x4s, because my life is going to be better. I went to a cookout tonight, and didn't even miss her. I'm focusing on me even more now, and I'm sort of glad this is over.
