Last night W and I met up with her family for dinner, and then her 2 brothers and their W and fiance came to our home afterwards. W was like the life of the party, all perky and assertive. Quite the opposite of the old quiet, reserved her. I'm sure she acts like this with her friends. Not sure if it's the new her, a mask, or a bit of both, as she still seems depressed at other times.
When the conversation turned to honeymoons, W resentfully stated: "FY took me to the Street Machine Nationals". (a big car show in Springfield) I responded that we also bought a lovely home that we were able to move into as soon as we returned... something many young married couples are not able to do.
W, with some resentment towards me, and pride in herself: "I decided if I wanted to travel, I'd have to do something about it". Not actually vocalized by me: Yes, you did honey, and I did a lot of things for us too.
While ordering drinks the waitress joked I wasn't old enough to drink! LOL
Overall everyone had a good time.
------------
Early this morning W and my Lil Sis left for four nights in a fancy Riviera Maya resort. Yep, on my own until late Thursday night! Kinda nice to get some space actually. Wednesday night I have my first visit with an IC.
-----------
I signed up for the Navigating Divorce course. First lesson was about writing a "Desired Horizon", and avoiding things that prevent you from staying on course to reach your destination. Lesson 2 was about D legalities and terms. So far, I'm the only student posted in the discussion area. I hope others join in.
-----------
I told W my plan to put new tires and brakes on her car to give us more time to make a wise choice on any possible replacement. She's on board, and not in any hurry to buy anything. I've been reading reviews on vehicles we've been considering. We both kinda like the G-37 coupe. One review for this car actually opened with: If you have that mid life crises itch... (!!!)
Maybe we'll get a red one.
----------
Ur: I sent you a fb msg. Let me know if you didn't get it and I'll go back to figure out what I did wrong. You all are definitely worth any trouble!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
"W was like the life of the party, all perky and assertive. Quite the opposite of the old quiet, reserved her. I'm sure she acts like this with her friends. Not sure if it's the new her, a mask, or a bit of both, as she still seems depressed at other times."
I don't know if I like the sound of this and of W's snarky remarks about you to her family, FY. It's funny but I'm bristling with anger towards her, on your behalf! Hopefully she is trying on a new perky, assertive, snide role. And that soon only the perky part will remain. That would be acceptable
I hope she and Lil Sis have a wonderful time in the Mayan Riviera, and that W has a revelation and returns full of romantic, passionate love for you my friend. I bet you'll have a nice couple of days alone. Although my heart was broken when my H was in Moscow, it was so nice to not have to walk on eggshells all the time.
It would be too funny if you guys end up with a red MLC itch G-37 coupe!
"Ur: I sent you a fb msg. Let me know if you didn't get it and I'll go back to figure out what I did wrong. You all are definitely worth any trouble!"
oh goody! Are you two FB friends now? Now the rest of us will be able to befriend you too!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I don't know, RL, W's antics seems pretty mild on the MLC scale according to what I read around here, so I'm not complaining too much.
I'm not motivated to buy any new cars. If she wants one, she can do the leg work, or ask me to help. I doubt she'll do either any time soon. I've traditionally been in charge of all the car stuff. Even put gas in hers. She used to brag about this to her coworkers pre-crises.
I just finished a brake job today, and will get her new tires before she gets home. Her car is good to go as far as I'm concerned. If anything else goes wrong, I'll fix that too.
No heart ache here with W gone, only because I know she's not with any OM. If she was, I'd be asking her to leave.
I had to send my fb msg again just now. Apparently the first one was sent to myself? lol Like I said, I don't know what I'm doing on fb. (yet)
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I wanted to share that I so remember the stage that my H was in where he remembered everything so differently and said and did things much like your W did at the dinner. He needed so much more attention, as would a teenager. Needed everyone to give him affirmation of how great he was, how miserably he had been treated by me in the M, etc.
I see you handled it all admirably! And to get carded, ha! I'm glad someone else was there to point out how young and handsome you look!
My H said to me recently (as we have been talking more about his crisis lately, as if it was in the past) that the overwhelming emotion that made him want to come home was loneliness.
He didn't have OP, but he had moved into his own apartment. This sort of accelerated his working out of issues. We talked last night about the "what if he had gotten a roommate" and possible outcomes. He said that the ending might have been very different. I don't know if he meant it would have delayed him facing his demons, as he would have definitely been drinking with that person a lot. Or if he meant I wouldn't have waited for him. Idk.
But it does explain a few things a bit. Your W always has you to talk to when she comes in from partying. My H had an empty apartment. And some friends that didn't care if he drank and drove, etc.
Yes, he had some girls arguing over him, which was only gratifying at the beginning. Eventually, he said he really wanted to be just happily M again. And that is what he sought. The longing in his heart for that R has helped us weather a few storms in 2013.
You're doing wonderfully, FY. Just wanted to share a little with you from my sitch I found out recently.
I think it's great you are signing up with some help online. I'm looking forward to hearing about the visit with IC on Weds. Is he/she on board with your philosophy or do you not yet know?
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
