On another note, my H got ready for his "football game" and came down to basement where S and I were sitting. I was watching S play video games. H made sure to stop and say "Ok see you later". I said "Ok. Oh and I am going to dinner at a friend's house, so S will be here by himself for a bit". Long pause from H. I wasn't even looking at him. Then he said to S "Well if you need anything just give either one of us a call". S just mumbled Ok's as most teens do. Hopefully I gave H something to think about! haha
He did look really nice, but I wasn't going to say anything. Plus I'm the one who always picks out his clothes for him to look nice! now he is looking nice for someone else. Urgh. He will have to pick out his Garanimals from now on! I'm showing my age here, but for those who don't know garanimals were a brand of clothing - pants and tops for kids that matched! LOL
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just catching up on your sitch. Sounds like you are spending more and more time with a PMA. That's no small accomplishment. I'm glad to see the small positives with your H. Like you, these small positives are so small and slow in coming that you want to hurry to the happy ending. Some days more than others, I believe there will be a happy ending and I'm ok with the journey that leads me there. In my case, if D happens I know I will survive, but it will still feel like I failed to make the necessary improvements. I'm jealous of your daily interactions and loving S. You may not always have something to GAL, but you seem to always have something to keep you moving forward. Forward is better than standing still. Keep it up.
Hope your dinner went well. It's always interesting to meet IRL.
Glad you got something out of my post to Ang.
At one point, I spent about 6 months in the archives, reading and rereading, as well as meditating and exploring other places where I could learn and develop my beliefs.
Somedays I may seem harsh, I have absolutly no filter in most situations, but I mean no harm.
Hope you are having a good day. Got anything planned?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
job, thanks for the reference to hrm134. she was truly amazing during her H's whole journey and her sense of humor was a BLAST! That's what I've missed about me, I've always been told I have a witty sense of humor, often times just silly, but I see it coming back and it feels good. (Ang, you should check out her threads, nice read, good story, lots of humor)
Underdog, Betsey my friend, I had such and AMAZING time last night. Your crockpot dinner was wonderful and the talk was even better. It was so nice to actually meet someone on here and talk face-to-face. I thought your daughter was lovely, even though she was sleepy! Maybe soon you can find her the right meds so she will feel more alert. Thanks again for a wonderful, thoughtful evening.
Dragon, thank you so much for checking in on me. We have to keep each other going.
Ang, Thanks for the encouragement. As we both know it's harder some days than others.
cat, I don't mind the harshness, it helps to see it in a way where I might be stuck. so THANK YOU.
Cadet, too true right, she is awesome.
Today, I awoke with renewed vigor. I have realized I want to try and make this crazy train of a marriage work. I want to see the good people my H used to be. I know he is there. After reading hrm's posts, I came to this realization. I actually took all morning off work to finish reading her posts! LOL. And the nice evening with Betsey helped spur me on too.
I have been dreading the holidays, so I instead decided to turn that around and MAKE it happy! I walked down to the basement and dug out all of my fall and Halloween decorations. I pulled all the boxes up myself. Normally I would have asked H to do this, but I'm sure he forgot how.
I left them out since I didn't have time to put anything up yet, but will do that with my S later tonight. Let's see what kind of reaction H will have. Any bets? let's see...nothing, or anger, or sadness.
I also decided I am just going to do what I feel like doing and not question anything on how H will behave or does behave. I saw a bunch of clothes on his bed not folded so I walked in and folded them all. Then I got all of the laundry out of the dryer and took it up to my room to fold. It was mostly his stuff, I left it on my bed all folded. He will have to come up to my room (gasp!) to retrieve it.
Then I put some chicken in the crockpot this morning for a nice tasty dinner for me and S tonight. H can have some if he is so inclined.
He didn't get home til almost midnight last night, so I expect him to be weary tonight. But I didn't care this time that he was out longer than usual. It's weird he goes out on Sunday nights because he has to work the next day.
I noticed yesterday that he was not into separating our laundry, he actually came up and asked if I had any stuff to go in the wash. He also actually folded some of my laundry, and actually put my socks and undies in their drawers. He would have just left them on my bed or downstairs before. And...he actually TOUCHED my underwear!! lol. sigh.
I've noticed too, that he is noticing how much I am taking on by myself. This is what prompted questions about does he need to help with S's to and fro from therapy and asking about a few other things he could "help" with.
So I did all these things for me, not because I was trying to impress him, it just felt good to be me. Because I am AWESOME.
Me:49 H:47 S: 16 T:27 M:25 My EA: 2001 His PA: 10/2007, 6/2013 Separated, but H still in house
Find your Shambala: a place of peace and happiness.
Underdog, Betsey my friend, I had such and AMAZING time last night. Your crockpot dinner was wonderful and the talk was even better. It was so nice to actually meet someone on here and talk face-to-face. I thought your daughter was lovely, even though she was sleepy! Maybe soon you can find her the right meds so she will feel more alert. Thanks again for a wonderful, thoughtful evening.
Meeting other LBS is by far one of the best things that you can DO. Sorry that DB does not embrace it and hopefully I will not be moderated for what I am saying but after having met many other LBS's I can truthfully say this. Glad that the two of you worked this out.
I dont live in the Rocky Mountain state but I did go to school there. I happen to know at least 5 others from your area to, at least 2 or 3 that used to post here.
I wasn't even looking at him. 
Then he said to S "Well if you need anything just give either one of us a call". S just mumbled Ok's as most teens do. Hopefully I gave H something to think about! haha 
We have to keep each other going.