Separated and confused

[lostinpgh]

My posts take a long time to show.. Journaling now:

I texted a bit with my MIL on Tuesday and she told me that when they saw H last weekend, he still seems extremely confused about life. She said when she asked him why he doesn't make a call, he replied that its because of fear. I asked her if she meant a literal phone call or a call about what he wants to do with his life, she believes he means what he wants to do with his life.
She told him that his sitting around and ignoring everyone isn't going to help anything and is making things worse. I would have rather she not pressure him, but I can't control her or what she says.

I decided to take a chance and call him on Weds night. I had a whole pile of other things planned for the week and that was my only opportunity to do it. We did end up talking on the phone for the 1st time since he left on Aug 3rd.
We both talked about what we had been up to, he told me he was working on his social life, and that his anxiety has been way down. He told me he'd been going to therapy still once a week or once every 2 weeks. We only touched briefly on "us", and he said that when my therapist initiated a meeting with his therapist and the 2 of us he just wasn't ready at the time. I don't really know how to interpret that. I don't know what he was expecting would happen at the meeting. The original plan was that we would do separate IC and then come together for all 4 MC. I don't know if he didn't want to tell me he wanted a divorce yet or if he wasn't ready to start the MC bit yet, but didn't want a divorce. I didn't ask any further questions about it.
He did say "we'll get there sometime in the future" and mentioned about having more "talks about things"

He keeps repeating this same thing he said when he was still home. He says "Its nice to talk to my therapist, she says there are reasons that I feel the way that I do" to which I reply that he doesn't have to have any reasons to feel his feelings and that he is allowed to just have feelings without needing to justify them with something. Even still, I don't know what he really means when he says this.
He mentions that living on his own is "hard" and I also don't know how to interpret that as that's all he says.

He said that he was glad that I was going out and doing things and not just sitting around doing nothing. He said he was glad I was doing pretty well. In my mind, I'm thinking he is trying to relieve himself of guilt if I'm not sitting on my couch in tears every night while he figures himself out. Mindreading again...

It seems to me that he has made some progress on himself while he's been gone and I'm happy for that.

I've had a chance to work on my own self and I've been able to see things I was doing wrong in our relationship and to myself.

I truly believe I'm dealing with a mid life crisis'er here.