Pudmuddle, He honestly can't tell you what is going on in his head and believe me, you wouldn't want to be inside of it right now. Your h is behaving like one of the more "softer, kinder" mlcers. Yes, he wants to be friends because if he maintain one toe in your pond and one in the mlc pond, he can tell people how well you two are doing, as well as freeing him of some of his guilt for his behavior.
Gee, he sounded liked a kid making that apology. Some of them do this, please don't allow that apology to throw you. Unless I am missing something, it was given as an after thought and may not have sounded as sincere as it should have been.
I'm glad to see he followed thru on giving the dogs a bath and even inquiring about S's therapy. He must have been having some moments of clarity.
Your situation reminds me a lot like HRM's was. If you can have patience and sit quietly, I think your h will begin revealing more as to what he's thinking.
I am very sorry his apology threw you, but do not allow it to confuse you because he is the one that is confused and is still bouncing around the pinball machine w/his emotions.
You handled the conversation very well. The less you say, the more you'll hear from him.
Please try to have a good day. Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
