"homework" from job - Hi Job, thank you

[Pudmuddle]

Yesterday went ok. H and S were out most of the afternoon, so I had time to read and do whatever. After they came home, we watched tv and puttered around house.

My H did follow through on washing the dogs, surprised me. He hasn't really cared about the dogs much since this started. Then he also later on, asked about our S again and his therapy appointments, when they were, does he need to take him, etc. Good stuff that showed the caring person I knew was peeking out. I told him no I could do it. He also mentioned at one point that S had told him he was being too critical. (!) That seemed to hit him a bit. I didn't respond to it. Just let him think on it.

Then this morning I came down to get my coffee. I was just sitting in the living room looking out the window. Staring, daydreaming. He came upstairs and sat down and talked to me about the house we are trying to sell and how it looked and stuff about the other houses in the neighborhood. Then ha asked if I was doing anything today. I said nothing major just going grocery shopping (damn I should've had something to do). Then he mentioned he was going out for the "football game" this afternoon/evening. I said ok. Butinside I was crushed, wished we could do stuff together. He hasn't done this for several weeks nor gone out at night at all.

I continued just staring out the window. He left the room.

While I was still staring out the window, he came back in and leaned over and gave me a hug. He said "I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you, I was not a very good husband".

I just half-hugged him back and didn't say anything. I kind of expected a but..or and and... to follow, saying he was in or out.

I only wept a few tears and that was it. Now I'm confused again. PMA went downhill. Is he slowly working on something in his head? I keep thinking, even if I do decide to take him back, can I? The trust is completely shattered this time. I think he keeps trying to be friends so we can part amicably. Which I don't want that either. I'm not sure I could be friends with him if he decides to break the M vow and not be my H anymore. I would be civil with the kid around but not friends.

I'm confused at what's going on in his head. I didn't continue the R talk when he started, but I want to know so much MORE.

Confused big time.