I'm back -- lost of progress

[Preggonomore]

Another sleepless night.

I have a question for the veterans: is it really possible for a spouse to fall back in love after ILYBINILWY?

I don't know why, tonight this just downed on me. Forget about the babies and the money and lack of companionship. Where is the love?

[labug]

The answer to your question above is, yes.

Why did you feel the need to needle H? Is this a pattern for you?

Karma isn't about direct cause and effect, as Pema says: The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart. To the degree that you didn't understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you're given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further.”

The only karma we should be concerned with is our own.

[Preggonomore]

Am I piecing???? Avice needed!

A lot happened today and I will get into details later, but here is what happened by mid afternoon: I had a meltdown over contractions and H rubbed my back. He kept asking what I was really crying so much about, if I was in that much pain. I just told him he is my husband and is supposed to be my best friend, he is supposed to be there through sickness and health.

Eventually he left and I fell asleep. When I came downstairs he said, "I think I'm getting out of the military and going reserves so we don't have to move anymore. And I don't want to get deployed anymore"

Did I hear "we?"

Then he invited me to look at the flowers I planted and how they were blooming. Then he went to the front yard and worked on it. The baby and I just watched him. Eventually we came inside and he stayed there. He is still on a mission to fix everything in the house.

I mentioned that my dad can't wait to get here for the birth of the baby and also because he wants to tackle our yard (my dad has a green thumb). H said, "it would be nice if they could move in with us"

Huh.

So what now? I know I can't be overly enthusiastic. What do I do now?

Oh, I did a big 180 this morning. More on that later.

[Preggonomore]

Should I invite him to come sleep on the same bed? Or is it too much pursuing?

[Preggonomore]

I blew it. Lets just say R talk led to things flying around the kitchen. He says he is moving out tomorrow. The baby is due in 10 days. I just can't believe it. I need to gather strength to let him go, or start the divorce myself. This is too much.

[MrBond]

That was fast. Did you push an issue?

[labug]

You need to let this go until after the baby is here.

You are running totally on emotion right now and I understand that but, you don't want to look back in 6 mos and have to ask "What was I thinking?"

Slow down, call you therapist.

[Preggonomore]

At this point I want to let everything go. Im so tired of the ambiguity and drama. I have an appointment today at the hospital because I am measuring 43 weeks or so, and where is H? Nowhere to be found. My neighbor will watch my kid.

[Pudmuddle]

Hi preggo, I've been following your sitch. I'm sorry things are so wildly up and down for you lately.

I hope your pregnancy is going ok, you sound like you're going to burst! I know it's extremely difficult right now, but focus on you and your pregnancy and being ok regardless of where H is.

Take care sweetie. Pud

[labug]

How are you today?