Hoping for Reconciliation after being Separated...

[Groov]

Hi Chasing,

Regarding:
For example, if he says I have not been independant enough and I am always relying on him. I guess I would then say, yes I could see how you would think that but I have really been working on trying to be more independant. I have been getting groceries on the weekends and driving around town more. I have been trying to fix things around the house without asking you first.

My opinion here don't say BUT, Everything after the BUT in this example is being defensive.
Instead keep validating:

"So you feel that you would like to see more independance from me and you feel like I always rely on you? Being independant is important. I do have a tendancy to rely on you. I can see how this would bring negative feelings of pressure."

I always run this through my mind in my convos: Understand, Reflect, Empathy

Understand: "So you feel that you would like to see more independance from me, and you feel like I always rely on you?" yes/no (If no, He will clarify)

Reflect/Validate: "Being independant is important. I struggle with self-reliance"

Empathy: "I can see how always feeling relied on would bring negative feelings of pressure"

This is easier said than done in the moment... For me in my sitch I have issues being defensive too! I practice this technique on others so when I talk to W I have it down. I have noticed that I am gaining friends quickly as I practice. My W is all business and I am hoping that she will reach out at some point so I can practice what I am preaching here

Good luck, I am rooting for you!