What's the difference? To me, the difference is the motivating factor. If you're living a well-lived-life, you're doing it for you and for your kids. If you're competing, you're doing it to be "better than..." somebody else. She does x, so you do x+1 to be "better than or equal to.."
See the difference?
Your freedom comes from forgiveness. That's the end state when you can let it all go. When you can live your life unfettered and unhampered by your past and past relationship. You'll always have history and things you need to communicate with the ex. You have kids. It's inherent in that dynamic. That makes it a little harder.
I've walked those shoes. In some ways, I still do. My ex and her new husband moved in a few blocks away and keeps trying to pick fights etc. Actively. My kids - one in college and one a couple years away. I come back here to hopefully help others who are in similar situations, but I sometimes still have to check my motivation to ensure it's not competition or anger or something other than for me and my kids. It takes more effot when they actively try to instigate and harass. But the end state is the same - forgiveness and letting go.
Perhaps somebody else has a different approach or opinion.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
